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TIES R US Plain Nude Satin Skinny Men's Tie and Pocket Square Set

£9.9£99Clearance
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Shibari is, "geeky, very brainy, and it can be very intellectual," says Anna, who discovered it five years ago, towards the end of her PhD at UCL. "I was looking online for kinky activities and I found this event called Peer Rope London. I fell head over heels for it! The session starts with a few ice-breakers to get us chatting to different people. "Go to this end of the room if you're a cat person, and that end if you're a dog person," says Anna. "Now go over there if you want to be tied, over there if you want to tie, and over there if you're a switch!" A switch is someone who is happy to both tie and be tied. Committed to experiencing the full shibari shebang, I stand in the spot designated for switches — and find myself jostling for space with about 80% of the class.

I like being close to someone," adds Paul. I understand the need for closeness — I'm just not sure why there've got to be ropes involved. Can't you just have a cuddle? Ben, who's been to several classes, explains, "Anna and Fred talk about the rope being an extension of your hands, so if you've got lots of rope, it's like you're giving them the biggest hug." Ben is here with his girlfriend Bella, who adds, "it's like hugs with bruises!" Photo: Anna Bones at Anatomie "Our relationship didn’t need spicing up — it was spicy already!" I'd asked Anna about this and she tells me, "it's an impossible question to answer," but offered this analogy: "I cannot tell you whether I'm wearing a skirt right now because I've been brainwashed into believing that as a woman I have to wear a skirt. But I can tell you I like wearing a skirt." She adds, "it's the same with kink — I can't tell you if it's a product of me having been exposed to too many images of it, I just know I like it. I feel empowered and free." Welcome to Ties.co.uk, where we're all about making your tie shopping experience as smooth and stress-free as possible. I like the closeness — connecting and having a conversation with another person through physical movement. As humans, we crave to be touched, and that's what rope is," Anna explains. "You're touching another person, they're touching you and it feels nice."

But the attire isn't all leather and latex. In fact, if you wandered in before anyone was bound, you might mistake the Rope Jam for a yoga class, such is the predilection for Lululemon leggings and loose printed cotton trousers getting an airing between Goa and Glasto. I'd probably put money on at least one of the guys running a pop-up Beard Bar in Nunhead, selling artisan moustache wax made of oils secreted from his girlfriend's scalp during a head massage from monks in Tibet. Photo: Bones and Rope Ellie, who's 41, is here for the first time. She tells me later, "I enjoyed being tied up — I liked the sense of touch, and squeezing, and the rope brushing past my skin." She also enjoyed tying her partner, another woman she met that night. She explains, "I want to learn the skills and technique, so I can tie other people, so they can experience it as well." Paul also identifies as a switch. He tells me he liked being tied because, "I like being touched gently," and he enjoyed the tying because, "I like the artistic side of the knots." Photo: Bones and Rope

Ben and Bella also switch, "we take turns to practise on each other. That's the best part," says Ben, "especially today. I was tired and stressed, but now that's disappeared." It was Ben who saw a friend's shibari snap on Facebook. "It looked like something you could nerd out on, that would be fun to learn together as an alternative to movie night." How has it impacted their relationship? "It's improved it, in that we've got more to do — but our relationship didn't need rescuing," says Ben, "it didn’t need spicing up — it was spicy already!" I ask Bella if shibari turns her on. She says, "for me it's more a sensual thing — the sensations on your skin, the intimacy you can have with your partner." She adds that she finds the studio calming, echoing Ben who's, "glad it's not a dungeon."

"I wondered why people enjoy it and I wanted to see if I'd enjoy it too"

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